


Perfect

by SotetAG



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5820130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SotetAG/pseuds/SotetAG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot finds the rest of "Camp Pining Hearts" and no one can get her away from the TV anymore. Amethyst tries to distract her with questions about Homeworld, but it inevitably opens old wounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect

It had happened. It had finally happened. Steven had tried to prevent it, but deep down he had known that he had only been delaying the inevitable.

Peridot had found the rest of the tapes with _Camp Pining Hearts_ episodes.

Steven thought he had hidden them well, but Peridot was too smart and curious for her own good and had found them in the middle of "Pearl duty", as she put it.

In hindsight, Steven should probably have asked one of the Crystal Gems to take the tapes back to the temple.

It had been almost two weeks since Peridot had found the tapes. The drill was ready. Everybody was ready. The Cluster could emerge at any moment. And yet, their mission had suffered a delay of almost two weeks because of a silly TV show.

The worst part was, no one could make Peridot stop. Pearl had tried to reason with her. Steven had tried to distract her. Garnet had tried to smash the TV. Peridot had just fixed the TV and resumed watching the show.

"I swear, she's worse than Amethyst and Greg with that _Li'l Butler_ show," Pearl grumbled as she and the rest of the team helplessly watched Peridot's unblinking eyes nearly glue themselves to the TV screen.

Steven's eyes lit up at Pearl's remark. "That's it!" he exclaimed. "Amethyst, you know what Peridot is going through! Maybe you can get her to quit!"

"Oh, no, no, no!" Pearl cut in, shaking her finger at him. "We can't risk having Amethyst get pulled into it as well."

"Hey, I've watched this show!" Amethyst protested. "It's not even that interesting. Just wait until I introduce Peridot to _Li'l Butler_. She won't take her eyes off the TV even if the Cluster does blow up the Earth." She snickered.

"Amethyst, don't you dare!" Pearl shouted.

Garnet adjusted her shades and spoke up, "Amethyst is the only one who hasn't tried to stop her from watching the show. We should let her try."

Amethyst shrugged. "Sure, no problem."

Calmly, like she didn't have a care in the world, she sauntered over to where Peridot was sitting and plopped down next to her.

"Hey, Peri. What episode is that?" she asked in a conversational tone.

Peridot's eyes were squinting and straining at the TV. Amethyst vaguely wondered if it was possible for one's eyes to actually melt from watching too much TV.

"Percy and Paulette just had an argument and Pierre is considering defecting to the other camp," Peridot answered in a monotone, her voice sounding distant.

"Wooow," said Amethyst, a little sarcastically, though Peridot didn't seem to pick up on that. She didn't look like she was even listening. "So, Steven told me you think Percy and Pierre should be an item? Where did that even come from?" she asked, hoping that would make Peridot look at her and start talking.

Luck wasn't on her side, though. "I recorded an updated explanation on my log. You can listen to it if you want. It's log date 7 25 2."

Amethyst just looked at her for a moment. When it became clear that Peridot wasn't going to move or say anything else, Amethyst blew her bangs off her eye in frustration.

"You know... I've watched that show," said Amethyst, inspecting her nails. "I know how it ends. Percy and Paulette end up together and Pierre dies."

Finally, a reaction! Peridot actually looked at her this time, and one of her eyes twitched a little. She remained silent, though.

"Oops. Spoiler alert!" said Amethyst, laughing. When Peridot just kept staring at her, Amethyst's laughter faded into an awkward chuckle. Truth be told, while Peridot was anything but intimidating, the way she was looking at her now was making her feel a little uncomfortable. "Well... I guess now you know how it ends, it's pointless to keep watching, right?" She elbowed Peridot friendly. "So, how about we go kick some Cluster butt?"

Peridot stared at her for a moment longer, and then finally spoke, "You're lying."

"No, I'm not!" Amethyst protested, although if she were honest, she wasn't entirely sure she had actually spoiled the ending or just a dream sequence or if she had just made it up. She didn't care. She just wanted Peridot to lose interest in the stupid show. "Why would I lie to you?" she asked, trying to sound innocent and sincere—admittedly, not her forte.

"I guess I'll have to watch the rest of it and see whether it matches your description," said Peridot, her eyes turning back to the TV, much to Amethyst's dismay. "And if it turns out you were telling the truth, I can always write my own ending and make things right."

"Oh, boy..." Amethyst muttered to herself, rubbing her hand wearily over her face and through her hair.

She had failed to kill Peridot's interest in the show. That meant she would have to change her strategy. She needed to redirect Peridot's excitement onto something else. Something that hopefully would tie in with the actual issue at hand, i.e. the Cluster.

Amethyst drummed her fingers on her knees, racking her brains for a topic that would really interest Peridot. _Think, Amethyst, think_ , she kept telling herself inwardly. What made Peridot excited?

Cute shorts? No, that would only embarrass her at this point. Giant robots? Her Peribot had been destroyed. (Would she try to rebuild it?) She had also been really excited about the Diamonds and ancient Gem tech back on the moon... but she probably didn't think that highly of the Diamonds anymore, and the tech talk wasn't something Amethyst thought she could handle without looking obviously bored or dumb.

Oh, the Kindergarten! That was a topic that interested both of them, and Peridot had seemed really excited when she had analyzed the hole that Amethyst had emerged from.

With another elbow poke to Peridot's thin arm, Amethyst smiled and said, "Hey, I was thinking about something you said the other day. You're a 'certified Kindergartener', right?"

"Yes," Peridot answered simply. Although her eyes were still glued to the TV, her voice sounded alert, lucid. Amethyst took it as a good sign.

"You seemed like you really knew what you were talking about, back there. It was amazing how you were able to get so much information from that hole with just a glance!"

Success! Peridot had stopped paying attention to the TV and was reacting to Amethyst's praise. She was blushing and awkwardly scratching her cheek, a wobbly smile on her face. She wasn't looking at Amethyst, but at least her obsessive interest had started shifting to a more manageable topic.

"You must be a really good Kindergartener," Amethyst went on.

"Well, that was nothing," said Peridot, still blushing and uncharacteristically shy. "All Kindergarteners are expected to know those things."

"But probably not as quickly or as accurate as you did," Amethyst added with a wink at the green Gem, who had finally directed her gaze to her.

"Maybe..." Peridot conceded with a proud smile that Amethyst took a moment to admire. Peridot didn't often smile unless it was a sarcastic or malicious smirk. Her genuine smiles were... really nice to look at.

"So, how did you become a certified Kindergartener?" she asked, inwardly counting a point to herself when Peridot fully turned away from the TV to look at her. "Is it something that all Peridots do?"

"Hah! No way!" said Peridot a little smugly. "All Peridots are designed to be technicians, but we can specialize in different areas. Some, like me, become Kindergarteners, but some become programmers, or engineers, or even architects... We get further training according to our specialization and have to pass several exams in order to get our certifications."

"Whoa..." Amethyst whispered, genuinely fascinated. She had never imagined that Gems on Homeworld actually needed to study and take exams just like humans on Earth. "So, can you choose your specialization, or does someone else decide for you?"

"Our superiors decide what specialization best suits each Peridot based on our performance, aptitudes, and interests," Peridot explained. "So we don't have full autonomy to choose, but no one imposes on us a job we don't excel at. It would be counterproductive otherwise."

"Cool," said Amethyst, briefly noting that Peridot had completely missed an important scene on the TV. Fortunately, Peridot had become quite engrossed in their conversation. Without missing a beat, Amethyst continued to ask questions in order to keep Peridot's attention on her. "So, what about Amethysts? You told me Amethysts are supposed to be soldiers, but can we also be different kinds of soldiers?"

"Of course!" Peridot replied, grinning at her. "Amethysts start out as foot soldiers when they emerge, but some can rise in rank and even become generals! They can be assigned to protect certain areas or other Gems on Homeworld, escort an explorer team searching for new planets, fight in wars against resisting planets or hostile civilizations, train younger Gems, or even become strategists."

Amethyst herself had forgotten about the TV show at this point, too lost in thought, imagining herself in all those situations that Peridot had described.

"And there's, like, some sort of caste system on Homeworld, right?" she asked eagerly. "You said I outranked everyone here."

"Yes, naturally," Peridot replied matter-of-factly. "How else could Homeworld function so efficiently? Every Gem has a specific purpose and place in Gem society. If everyone were free to do whatever they wanted or be whatever they wanted to be, certain jobs would never get done. Everyone would want to be the leader and no one would want to follow orders. It would be chaos!" Peridot explained, gesturing wildly to convey her obvious frustration at Earth's more flexible system. "Everyone would be too busy fighting for leadership and nothing would ever be accomplished!"

"Like when you and Pearl had the giant robot fight to see who got to lead the drill project?" Amethyst asked, meaning to tease Peridot, but the green Gem took it seriously.

"Yes! Exactly!" she replied, apparently relieved that someone had finally understood. "If Pearl had just accepted that it was _my_ job to design and build the drill, we wouldn't have wasted an entire day with our dispute!"

Amethyst glanced at the TV and noticed that the episode had already ended. She needed to keep Peridot talking a little longer—and besides, she was quite interested in hearing Peridot's point of view on Homeworld.

"So, Peridots outrank Pearls on Homeworld?"

"Pretty much everyone outranks Pearls," Peridot scoffed. "They're quite low on the hierarchy scale. They lack any useful abilities. They can't fight, they can't build things, and they can't think for themselves."

"Our Pearl can," Amethyst pointed out, feeling a little protective of her friend.

Peridot looked away awkwardly. "Yes, she is... an exceptional Pearl. A defective one, for sure, but that actually ended up working out in her favor."

Amethyst decided to let the "defective" comment slide. "So, do Peridots rank really high?" she asked, again somewhat teasingly, for she suspected that Peridots didn't rank much higher than Pearls.

As expected, Peridot looked a little embarrassed. "N-no, not really..." she admitted, blushing slightly. "We are valued for our technical skills, but we're too... weak," she said the last word reluctantly, as if it physically pained her to admit such a thing. "Quartzes outrank us by far. Steven would be the rightful leader here if he weren't a half-human hybrid. You would be his second-in-command. Garnet would have no place here unless we were fighting someone. What are her component Gems, again?"

"Oh, uh, Ruby and Sapphire," Amethyst supplied.

"Wow, really?" Peridot looked a little astonished for a moment. "A foot soldier, actually lower than Peridots in rank, though she would still be above Pearl... and an aristocrat... Sapphire might actually outrank you, Amethyst."

Amethyst shrugged. Sapphire _was_ pretty impressive in her own right. Not as physically strong as Amethyst, but clever, regal, and her future vision definitely made her unique.

"Man, imagine that!" Amethyst remarked, looking upwards dreamily. "Me, Rose Quartz's second-in-command, ordering Pearl around..." She laughed and looked at Peridot. "It's actually hard to imagine, though. I've always been the runt of the team, at least before Steven joined us. If I were on Homeworld, everything would be so different..."

She thought back to Peridot's revelations about her true nature back in the Kindergarten, and her laughter turned bitter. "Though I guess I wouldn't really get much more respect there after all, since I'm... defective," she mumbled the last word, feeling it taste sour in her mouth.

Peridot's eyes went wide and she got very flustered. "A-actually, if you had been made in a Gem-controlled planet, in a properly managed Kindergarten, you would probably have been perfect!"

That stung. Peridot had probably been trying to comfort her somehow, but now Amethyst felt even worse.

It wasn't as if she wanted to be from a Gem-controlled planet and live on Homeworld. She had seen what Yellow Diamond, her would-be superior, was like, and Homeworld was messed up and would never give her the same freedom she had on Earth. She was just... Sometimes, she just wanted to be more than the immature Gem everyone took her for. She wanted to be big and strong, like she was supposed to. She didn't like being an "overcooked runt".

Ironically, it was probably the Crystal Gems' "fault" that her Kindergarten had gone unsupervised for too long, leading to her imperfect formation.

Imperfect. That was what she was and would always be, according to Peridot.

Feeling a surge of anger welling up in her chest, Amethyst pushed herself off the floor and stomped away without looking back, not caring if Peridot would go back to watching her stupid TV show.

The thing about Peridot was that she had no filter. She didn't try to sugarcoat anything. She stated facts, and she always spoke the truth—or at least what she _perceived_ as the truth—no matter how ugly it was. When she said something, she meant it.

So, if she had said that Amethyst was imperfect, she had meant every word. Rose, Pearl, and Garnet might have refrained from telling her the truth in so many words to spare her feelings, but they should have known they couldn't hide it forever.

She wished they were back at the temple so she could retreat to her room and sulk in peace. But she knew that if she left the premises of the barn, Pearl would give her an earful, so she had to settle with the back of the barn.

"So, Amethyst, how did it go?" she heard Steven ask as he approached from behind her.

She had hoped to be left alone for at least five minutes, but of course, she wasn't granted that luxury. She just glared at him, hoping he would get the hint and leave her alone.

Steven didn't leave, but he wasn't completely oblivious to her bad mood. He gave her a worried look. "Are you okay?" he asked timidly.

"I'm peachy," she bit out sarcastically.

"Did you and Peridot have a fight?" he pressed, looking sad.

"Nope," she answered truthfully.

"But you look really upset... Did she hurt your feelings without realizing it again?"

Amethyst tried to laugh it off, suddenly feeling silly. She was overreacting and being an immature brat, like always. It wasn't Peridot's fault that she was defective, nor was it her fault that she had no tact. There was no need for tact on Homeworld, most likely. She thought she had come to terms with the knowledge that she was defective, but it hurt so much when Peridot had said it again and she didn't quite know why.

"It's okay. I'm fine, really," she tried to reassure Steven and act like it was no big deal. She dared not face him, though, because she knew her smile wasn't reaching her eyes and she looked pathetically obvious.

Fortunately, Steven didn't press further and finally left her alone.

She didn't know how long she stayed behind the barn. It must have been a while, because the sky was already beginning to get dark. She was surprised that Pearl or Garnet hadn't come after her, but she figured that maybe Steven had told them that she wanted to be left alone.

Eventually, she heard someone else approaching her from behind. Peridot—she recognized her right away when the green Gem cleared her throat to get Amethyst's attention.

"Listen... I'm... uh..." Peridot stuttered awkwardly, and Amethyst had a feeling of deja vu. She heard Peridot sigh in frustration, then a click, and Peridot's recorded voice reached Amethyst's ears. " _Log date, 7 27 2. According to Steven's report, I have apparently_ hurt _Amethyst's_ feelings _. Again._ "

"Stop!" Amethyst ordered, turning around to face a bewildered Peridot, who immediately stopped the tape and stared at her in confusion and a little fear. "It's not your fault, okay? I get it. Just leave me alone," said Amethyst.

Peridot looked torn for a moment. Then, hesitantly, she managed to speak with her own voice, instead of relying on her recorder, "Even if it wasn't my fault, as you say, it... unsettles me that you're upset because of something I said."

"I'm not upset," Amethyst insisted. Then, because Peridot gave her the most skeptical look, Amethyst sighed and admitted, "Okay, I am upset, but I'll get over it. I just need some time for myself, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"That's what Pierre told Percy in episode 49," said Peridot, her eyes shining like stars like they often did when she talked about her favorite _Camp Pining Hearts_ characters. "But it turned out that deep down Pierre did want to talk about it, and they finally reached a mutual understanding at the end of the episode, which made them work even better as a team!"

"What are you getting at?" Amethyst asked, partly confused and partly suspecting Peridot was much more perceptive of Amethyst's feelings than she had previously thought.

"We need to talk about it!" Peridot answered heatedly. "Then our team can be stronger, and I can stop feeling small!"

"You _are_ small," Amethyst pointed out, chuckling despite herself.

" _Smaller_ , then!" Peridot amended, blushing a dark green.

"Yeah, well, life isn't fair," Amethyst replied, bitterness replacing her mirth in flash. "I wish I could stop feeling small, too, but what can ya do?"

"Is that the problem?" Peridot asked curiously, as if she really had little or no idea what was bothering Amethyst. "That's easy to solve! Once we have dealt with the Cluster, I can build some limb enhancers for you, too! They won't be as advanced as my original set, but they will serve their purpose just fine."

"I don't want those... things!" Amethyst growled. "They won't change the fact that I'm a defective, overcooked runt! They won't make me perfect!"

"Well, technically, only the Diamonds are supposed to be perfect," Peridot muttered, her frown deepening as she considered her own words. She must have started doubting the notion that the Diamonds were perfect beings after her last, eye-opening interaction with Yellow Diamond.

"I don't care about that!" said Amethyst angrily. "I meant I'm not a perfect Amethyst. I'm a lot smaller and weaker than I was supposed to be."

"But if you were like the other Amethysts, you wouldn't be you!" Peridot burst out, and then covered her mouth, her eyes wide, as if shocked by her words.

"What do you mean?" Amethyst asked, intrigued.

Peridot slowly lowered her hands from her face and sighed. "If you were a fully formed Amethyst on Homeworld, you would never do all the things you love doing on Earth. You wouldn't eat, or sleep, or watch wrestling on TV. You wouldn't tell jokes or laugh. You would be just a soldier, with just a sequence of numbers and letters to distinguish you from your peers."

Amethyst was silent as she took in Peridot's words and sad expression. She remembered that Yellow Diamond had had no idea which Peridot had been addressing her. Peridot had needed to identify herself with some sort of code, as if she were a robot or something.

Peridot shook her head and went on, "It recently occurred to me that just like Pearl's defect worked in her favor, allowing her to be much more than a servile drone, your... uh... defect—" she flinched when she said the word, hoping Amethyst wouldn't get even more upset—"has also worked in your favor. You're very unique and likable. You're nothing like the other Amethysts and that's a good thing! I never liked those Homeworld Amethysts. They're even worse than Jaspers."

Amethyst stared at her, turning Peridot's words around in her mind over and over. "Do you actually like me?" she asked, unsure that she had understood correctly.

Peridot blushed and cleared her throat again. "Well, you know, like I said... you're the best Gem here, and I find your company quite enjoyable at times, if a little confusing. I wouldn't be here talking to you if I disliked you."

Amethyst felt her face warm up and a goofy grin split her face. "I guess I... I thought you just sort of tolerated me, you know? I know I can be annoying sometimes."

"True," Peridot said bluntly, though her tone lacked any trace of malice. "But you're annoying in a good way, unlike the other Amethysts."

"Annoying in a good way? That doesn't even make sense!" Amethyst laughed, amused by Peridot's backhanded compliment, but it quickly faded away and she looked down dejectedly. "I still wish I were a better Gem, though. I bet I'd be the laughing stock of Homeworld if I ever set feet there," she said sourly.

Peridot just looked at her for a moment, then frowned and said, "Well... who cares what they think? _I_ think you're great. In fact, you're perfect just the way you are. Maybe not a 'gemetically' perfect Amethyst, but that's what makes you... perfect in your own way."

Amethyst could feel her whole face burn. Peridot had actually said those things about her. She thought Amethyst was "great" and "perfect" in her own way. And she wasn't just saying it to make Amethyst feel better. Peridot always meant what she said.

Peridot started squirming under Amethyst's intense gaze and silence. "Besides, if you were as big as the other Amethysts, I'd have to keep craning my neck to look at you and that would be a pain."

Amethyst let out a snort, once again amused by Peridot's attempts at humor. She lightly punched the green Gem in the arm.

"You're such a romantic, Peri," she said, wiping small tears from her eyes.

Peridot smiled back, looking awkward and absolutely adorable. On impulse, Amethyst squeezed her into a warm, grateful embrace. Peridot stiffened and obviously had no idea what she was supposed to do, but Amethyst didn't care and held her.

After several long moments, Amethyst finally let go of Peridot and the two Gems stared at each other.

"Do you want do watch _Camp Pining Hearts_ with me?" Peridot asked, and to Amethyst it almost felt as if she were being asked out on a date. She giggled at the thought.

"Don't we have to look for the Cluster?" she asked, remembering her original mission to get Peridot away from the TV.

"Just six more episodes!" Peridot pleaded. "I'm so close to finishing it!"

Amethyst blinked and weighed her options. She could do as Pearl had said and go through with her mission, or she could spend the night cuddling with Peridot in front of the TV.

It didn't take long for her to make up her mind.

"Okay!" she replied cheerfully.

Let Pearl nag and Garnet stare in silent disapproval if they wanted. If the Cluster blew up the Earth and killed everyone, at least she wouldn't have any regrets about missing out on some quality time with her favorite nerd.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
